Lessons In Leadership..

"The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. they have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. either case is a failure of leadership"

If this were a litmus test, the majority of leaders would fail. One, they build so many barriers to upward communication that the very idea of someone lower in the hierarchy looking up to the leader for help is ludicrous. Two, the corporate culture they foster often defines asking for help as a weakness or failure, so people cover up their gaps, and the organization suffers accordingly. Real leaders make themselves accessible and available.

-General Colin Powell (Chairman (Retd.), Joint Chiefs of Staff

TOMORROW NEVER COMES!

This summer is unusually hot.The prevading smell of jasmines was overpowered by a concoction of basic talcum smell as subsumed in the sweat of a particularly hot summer's day in Chandigarh(India).
This wedding crowd may be a visual treat but definitely not a nostril delight!Priti would have ensured there were plenty of floral arrangements.And incense sticks to keep the spirits amused!

27th April was AAKSHYA TRITYA.

A day with auspicious beginnings in these parts would probably be the humblest description.

Thus most lovers would choose just a day like this for their vows.
Anshu probably did just that.

He infact needed to invoke the gods more often than most of us.His early experiences had been such.

Priti,his mother always insisted on the family getting together for the evening invocation to gods.Prakash,her husband and my kid-days pal ,was expected to walk in from his business commitments to join them.
He rarely did.To him defaulting on such commitments to wife were the initiator of a tease-chase that thrilled him no end.

Priti of course did not like this frivolity,or so she feigned.As also the hurry with which he rushed to the bar and steaks whenever he did make it for the prayers!!

I was the one for both of them.The friend of Prakash who was allowed to the prayers.And also the reason that Prakash was allowed his single malt and steak straight post prayers.
Though I knew I was walking a very taut line,but was always surprised that I hardly disturbed the peace in the family that was ever at conflict.

I should know.I was called in to meddle and rescue many a times.

And once I was left passing handkerchiefs to Priti as also wondering where could Prakash vanish in this small town.This particular one was getting a little out of hand.Prakash could not be contacted for over four hrs.

Priti had send for me after she realised that Prakash had not gone to his trading shop from home.Nor was he traceable anywhere else..in-laws house..friend Vijay's place et al.

So she reached me.

But where could he go?And why?

Look D..I am really worried.I think he got more than the normal advice from me today.The worse was that he did not speak at all in return.And no mischievous grin either.He just walked off.And..lest I forget he did not carry his lunch pack too!!

And Priti set off on a wail...

Recovering she suggested...
I will make you some tea meanwhile...Pray think where could he have gone...I hope all is well with him.....

Where could this bum go?I sat on the sofa wandering.

I was startled by Priti's scream from the kitchen.
And a thud-fall followed by a loud shameless laugh.

We had Prakash jumping from the over-cove in the pantry section of the kitchen.A place usually reserved for wasted packing material.

But what was he doing there?

The explanation was easy.

To teach Priti a lesson.I hid here till whenever she went out to find me.She would never have guessed I was here!And while she was out I had fun in the house as also the sandwiches.

But that was being careless.

Leaving them in their embrace I thought probably Prakash had worked to this.
There had to be some way to explain these fights.And love.Both were in a comfortable embrace here!Probably because he liked the momentary pain he wreaked.And the resultant attention Priti gave him when he sought to make up.
Priti too liked the pain she went thru I suspect.As also the warmth and innocent sincerity only Prakash was capable of in his apology thereafter.
Pomfret fried in slow fire and whatever malt is for starts!And Priti and kids would have done the prayers. D better be home by 7 pm today...
Hey I am off to Ambala for work..so keep it tomorrow I protested.
Tomorrow never comes Ahoy! He would insist in his sing-song manner.
So I would join in.May be for the fish which was luscious.Or the company.Prakash always had interesting observations to make.They were always around his trade but rarely did you get to hear him evaluate people.Thus his manner was extremely friendly and his narrations unhurtful.
The day he chose to ride into the club alone was to honour a commitment to Vijay,another friend of his.And not for the malt.Tho' he relished his drink but he never overdid his indulgence.And he blanched off on certain days to make sure his consumption does not get the better of him as a habit.
So it could not be for the drink,as Priti insisted.
You douse yourself here.Why offer such lame excuses?
This is excatly my answer.I do not need to give a lame reason to have a drink at home..and thus I am off to club for a virtuous reason.Vijay is a friend and I do not turn down invitations of friends for silly reasons...or love..or whatever.So I am going.Never mind if you do not wish to dress and join in.
Winters in the city that houses itself in the laps of Himalayas could be treacherously cold.
January 17th,1985 was a very cold day.And an even colder night.The day that followed was draped in misty darkness.
Prakash overstayed the invitation at the club.The malts too were one too many and by the time he decided to return it was 0300 of January 18th.
He knocked for the servant.
No response.
A soft curse and he reluctantly rang the bell.He would wake wake up the kids he worried.
No response.
Priti was awake.She had not slept,worrying over Prakash and their collective destiny.Let him suffer a while.This should sober him.
The bells were replaced by at first strong knocks on the door and thereafter feeble beckons on the timber for a while .Till it faded with the failing night.
The silence of a cold winter night bothers those who listen for sounds.
Priti was not.
She was apparently too fatigued and overcome by the emotions of the experience rather than the wait .After all it was an entire night she had kept a watch on !
She slept the minute the knocks on the door were no more heard.
He probably would sleep in the car,she had imagined.
At 0500 in the morning she decided to allow Prakash in.But was aghast to see him prostate on the doorsteps .
Dead in his own vomit.
Her screams rent the stillness of the night.
They haunt me and all who heard them during the cremation ceremonies thereafter..and till date.
Priti and children transferred to whites and silences in quick time.That bothered and saddened me a great deal.
On the 4th day ritual Priti decided to join Prakash.
She always made her decisions and imposed them on others.Why should we suffer her..is what Prakash used to tell me after one of his many fights.
This one decision was terrible!
Our hearts went to the children orphaned by these events.
But the lord has a lap that is warm and accomodating for all of us.Prakash and Priti were friends to many,and the goodness of humanity prevaded in the care the children received.
Aarti decided to marry early so that her new family would protect and support Anshu in his ambitions.I thought differently but Aarti like her mother made her decisions by herself.
This one seems to have worked!
I have not seen a bigger gathering for a wedding in Chandigarh.Vijay spotted me and was whisking me off to the bar and fish corner.
Let us meet the kids first. I insisted.
The truth was that I no more could get near a fish pan after Prakash left.

I tried but the memories were too many and they always flood in torrents ,if cuddled...and sometimes the memories engaged you for litttle or no immediate reason.

Dreadful to me are winter nights.I have patiently awaited for the brightness that summers would get tomorrow.Summers have come and winters gone.But,alas,the pain of the memory remains and haunts.
I have confidence that there would be a day again.When probably I would chase the trains enroute to Ambala on motorcycle ,like the other day gone by, with Prakash on the pillon.

Dont I smell the familiar jasmine fragrance of an evening in the past when Priti would gesture me to join the evening family prayers.
The lights should be flickering when you make an offering to the almighty D...So do move the offerings tray in a clockwise direction...Like this.... All you guys are the same! ..Would be the admonishments I would get for being so naieve.
I could chase down the parachute of the jet fighter on landing on my bike!! No one believed me..but Prakash.That is why he was special.He believed in all.
And trusted all. But god!I never carried these opinions of his to Priti.For her the life revolved around the puja room.
I know today though that this heart wrenching parting would not be for so long..However powerful the force that perpetuated that havoc that January.
There would be a tomorrow when we all would pray together. And not head for the bar straight thereafter!
For if that tomorrow comes...
Prakash you would not tease and delight in seeing the tears in Priti's eyes...
She has cried enough!
Uncle D..reached Aarti.
I was telling Pranoy that he smiles like my Dad.What do you say?
The grandchild had the same mischievous grin that Prakash constantly wore.
I smiled in response.
I think the tomorrow is here already!!